Simply Marvelous
by ElectricSnowman
Summary: After N. Gin quits being Cortex's right-hand-man, Cortex is on the desperate search for a new assistant! The only problem, however, is that nobody wants to work with him because of his egotistical and judgmental attitude. But will one individual rise above the rest? As of now, this story has turned into a montage of one-shots concerning Cortex and his new assistant.
1. Marvelous

"_**CORTEX!"**_

Dr. Neo Cortex jerked awake, nearly receiving whiplash. "Oh no. Oh no no no...he's back..." He frantically started clearing his desk, throwing away unnecessary doodles and replacing them with several blueprints of 'genius' plans. "C-Coming Uka-Uka!"

"_**GET OUT HERE NOW!"**_

Cortex squeaked and leapt from his chair, nearly tripping over it as he dashed out of his lab. "R-Right here!" He skidded to a stop in front of the angry mask. Uka-Uka glared at him dangerously, then looked around the trashed room with disdain. "H-How was your...uh...vacation...?" Cortex grinned anxiously, sweat dripping down his face. "You were, eh—" He cleared his throat. "You were gone for quite a long time..."

"Not long enough," growled Uka, meeting his eyes once more. "I can see this place never got cleaned, did it?"

"Well, you know me." Cortex chuckled. "I'm too busy with all my world domination schemes to do crap like _that_."

"Well then, why not have N. Gin do it? Isn't that what he used to do?"

Cortex froze. _N. Gin...? Oh...crap._

"Come to think of it, where _is _N. Gin, anyway?" Uka narrowed his eyes and looked around. "I expected him to show up long before you did."

Cortex bit his lip and began rocking back and forth on his feet. "Well...Uka...a lot of things happened when you were gone..." He scratched the back of his neck nervously.

Uka blinked, instantly facing him. "What **kind** of things...?" He gritted his teeth.

"L-long story...it's a _terribly _long story involving the breaking of close bonds...betrayal of certain minions..." Cortex felt like he could go on for hours.

"You didn't answer my question, Cortex. Where is N. Gin?" Uka flew close to his face, losing his patience.

Cortex took a step back. "Um...you heard me mention _'the breaking of close bonds'_, right...?"

Uka looked startled. "YOU KICKED HIM _**OUT!?"**_

"What!? No!" Cortex frowned. "That dimwit kicked _himself _out! He ranted on how he was tired of me bossing him around, and—ugh, who needs him, anyway..." He crossed his arms like a pouty child.

Uka narrowed his eyes. "So in other words, he's not coming back?"

"Nope."

The irritated mask gritted his teeth. "Well. That's just great..." He sighed.

"BUT!" Cortex exclaimed, startling him. "At least I'm not _completely_ alone! I've still got Nina, Pinstripe, Tiny, and Ripper Roo here to keep me company!" He beamed proudly. Uka just shook his head. "What, you got a problem with them?"

"I have absolutely _no _problem with Nina. You know that."

"Well, what about everyone else?" Cortex frowned. "They're loyal! Well...Tiny is, at least. I still have to get after Pinstripe from time to time, and Ripper Roo is incredibly unpredictable..."

"What about Dingodile?" Uka raised an eyebrow.

Cortex bluntly pointed out a large scar on his face. "You heard me mention _'betrayal of certain minions'_, right...?"

"Wha—he's gone _TOO!?_" Uka yelled. "Gosh—at this rate, why not just throw EVERYONE out the door!?" He shut his eyes and silently groaned, "I need a vacation..."

"You literally just _took_ a vacation." Cortex gaped at him incredulously, although he didn't object.

"Yeah, but I had no clue I'd come back to _this!"_

"Life is full of disappointments." Cortex huffed, turning around. "You of all people should know that by now."

"_**YOU'RE**_ full of disappointments!" Uka hissed. "Without a right-hand-man, how do you expect to get anything done!?"

"Well, what do you expect me to do—get a bunch of random people to just stand in a line, then choose who will take N. Gin's place?" Cortex growled. To his surprise, Uka was silent. "Wait...are you serious?"

"Well, that doesn't sound like a bad idea." Uka thought about that. "I could always use more help around here."

"Don't you mean 'we'?" Cortex raised an eyebrow.

"Whatever!" Uka scoffed. "Just find someone!"

"Why me? It was _your_ idea!" Cortex jabbed a finger at him.

"And it's _your_ right-hand-man!" Uka shot back. "Here—just use this." He threw a newspaper at him.

Cortex took it and rubbed his head. "_Villains Weekly?_ I heard this paper was a dud." He started flipping pages, but then his eyes widened. "Whoa...there's stuff for _everything_ in this thing! Henchmen...hit men...wait—what's Tropy's name doing in that!?" He quickly flipped to the next page. "...Minions...wait, aren't they the same thing as henchmen? I don't even know. Nine Steps on How to Appear More Threatening...Three Things You May be Doing Wrong with Your Evil Schemes...are you sure _you_ didn't create this paper?" Cortex looked up at Uka, unamused. "Where the heck is the section for assistants!? Right-hand-mans!?"

"That'd be the last page, genius." Uka rolled his eyes, flipping the paper over.

Cortex narrowed his eyes. "Oh. _Aides?_ What is this, the 1700's? Who the heck says that word anymore?"

"Just shut up and look it over already!" Uka hissed.

"Alright, sheesh." Cortex sighed and looked at all the names under the section. "Looks like I'm gonna be making a _lot _of phone calls..."

"Good. Now, would you do me a favor and get me a sandwich?" Uka flew into the other room.

"Wha—you're not helping me!?" Cortex exclaimed.

"It's _your _right-hand-man."

Cortex clenched his fists. "Yeah, but it's also someone who'll be working for _YOU_, too!"

"_**GET ME MY SANDWICH!"**_

"Yes sir!" Cortex quickly dashed into the kitchen.

* * *

After what was close to four hours, Cortex finally managed to successfully call everyone who was on the ad. "Whew...finally..." He flopped on the couch, exhausted.

"_**CORTEX!"**_

Cortex flinched violently and fell to the floor. "What NOW!?" He shouted.

"Hm?" Uka-Uka flew over to him, sipping on lemonade. "Nothing. I just enjoy yelling at you."

"I hate you," Cortex groaned, picking himself up.

"Likewise. Anyway, are you finished?"

"Yeah, and it took me four flipping hours to do so..." Cortex brushed the dust of his clothes.

Uka raised an eyebrow at him. "Wait, what did you do, call them? You do realize you could've just sent an e-mail out, right? Their e-mail addresses were listed out, you know."

Cortex blinked. A loud noise that was a mix between a groan and a whine escaped him as he started pulling his hair, stomping his foot in rage.

"Congrats. Now you get to waste four MORE hours of your life interviewing everyone." Uka smirked and left the room. Cortex growled and threw a couch cushion at him.

* * *

Cortex stared incredulously at one of his potential candidates. "Too short."

"WHAT?" They scoffed and stormed out.

"Next!"

The next person, being freakishly tall, strolled into the room.

"Too tall." Cortex shook his head, and they stormed out as well. "Next!"

A woman with vibrant blonde hair, as well as yellow clothing, walked to him.

"Too..._yellow_." Cortex stated in disgust. "Next!"

Uka rolled his eyes. "Cortex, for Pete's sake, you're picking out an assistant—not a date!"

"Shut up and let me think!" Cortex hissed. "Let's just make things go faster." He started walking amongst the large line of people he had called. "Too fat...too skinny...too old...too many eyeballs...wait—where's your face? ...AGH! ...Too young, too much hair..."

"CORTEX! JUST _CHOOSE_ SOMEONE ALREADY!" Uka roared.

"Hold on, hold on. Too 70's...too sloppy... " Cortex placed a hand on his chin in thought as he looked over the remaining applicants. "Are you sure there aren't any more people?"

Simultaneous groans filled the air, and the crowd of people shoved him aside and they stormed out the door, some giving him deadly glares and gestures. One woman in particular, however, didn't leave. She had short, brown hair that was tightly curled, along with a red bandana on her head. Shiny gold earrings dangled from her ears, and a long golden scarf draped from her neck. She clenched her fists tightly, pulling out a large, golden, trident-like weapon from her back. In a flash, she pinned Cortex against the wall, pointing her trident at his face.

"Who do you think you are, exactly!?" She hissed through gritted teeth.

Cortex blinked, pulling out his clipboard. "And you are...?"

"Marvelous Pseredon. Marvel for short. The one you claimed was _'too 70's'_."

"Ah. No hard feelings?" Cortex simply pushed her trident back and brushed off his clothes. "Anyway, lovely to have met you, but I'll be fairly busy trying to find myself an assistant. Ta-ta."

Marvel jabbed his shoulder with her trident, and he flinched. "Dr. Cortex, is it?" He nodded. "If you don't mind me asking, why is it that your former right-hand-man decided to quit?"

"That, Miss Pseredon, is none of your beeswax. Uka-Uka, do me a favor and show her the door."

"Ex-_CUSE_ ME? You ain't the boss of me!" Uka barked. "_You_ called her! _You_ get her out!"

"As an invited guest, am I supposed to feel like a burden?" Marvel grumbled.

"You are no longer invited. As of now, you're an intruder. Now, good day." Cortex turned around.

"Alright, forget the question—I've got a theory, now. Let me guess; this former pal of yours was probably sick of you being so judgmental and downright rude to everyone you came across! Am I right?" Marvel crossed her arms.

Cortex came to a halt, astonished. He turned back to look at her, but muttered something unintelligibly and shook his head, facing forward.

"Eh—what was that? Was I right?" Marvel chuckled. "Mr. Grouchy Pants?"

"Shut up and get out!"

"You know what; I think I know why it's so hard for you to get an assistant! You keep judging everyone on their appearance and shooing them away so much that you're refusing to see their skills, personality, and—more importantly—_potential!" _She advanced on him threateningly.

"This lady's telling you off, Cortex." Uka was munching on popcorn.

"Whose side are you ON!?" Cortex shouted. He threw his hands in the air and faced Marvel. "Now you listen here—if you have a problem with my attitude, that's _your_ own fault! I was able to have help for decades, and it won't be any problem for me to have it again! NOW GOOD DAY!"

Marvel just chuckled bitterly. "This only proves my point, Dr. Cortex. You're completely oblivious to the fact that I just stole your wallet while you were having that little tantrum of yours."

Cortex's mouth fell open, and he froze. Instantly, his hands searched his pockets. "W-wha-what did you—you just—YOU—"

Marvel held up her trident, and the wallet was hanging off one its points. "Just a little tip, don't underestimate those that you judge harshly, Dr. Cortex. I'm a very stealthy individual." She turned around, swinging her trident back and flinging the wallet back to him. "I mean, who knows...I could sneak right back here while you're sleeping and decide to...I dunno...plan your untimely demise..."

Cortex gaped at her, completely stunned.

"Ah, well. It was lovely to have met you as well, Dr. Cortex. Don't be afraid to take my advice. It will certainly help you find an assistant a _lot_ faster, I'll tell you that. Goodbye." The door shut, and silence that was almost deafening filled the air.

Cortex was speechless. He stared at the wallet in his hands, then glanced over at Uka-Uka, who was grinning like mad. "What are _you_ smiling about?"

Uka approached him, looking as if he was about to burst into laughter. "Cortex...you need to hire this woman."


	2. The New Assistant

Two days after the incident with Marvel, Cortex paced around his office, literally red with rage.

"Er...I swear...one of these days, I'm gonna wring that woman's neck!"

"Calm down." Uka-Uka rolled his eyes.

"Calm _down?_ Look who's telling who to calm down!" Cortex pitched a book across the room in frustration. "AGH!"

"You gotta admit; that lady's got some nerves, sticking up to you like that." Uka shrugged as he started snooping through a bunch of Cortex's blueprints. "I'm surprised she was the only one; everyone else just left."

"That's just the thing! Why didn't she leave like everyone else!?" Cortex grouched.

"I like her. She's stubborn, determined, tough...I say this woman's definitely got potential."

Cortex's eyes nearly popped out. "She practically threatened to KILL me!" What was it with females wanting to kill him these days, anyway?

"If _that_ ain't potential, I don't know what is."

"Har har." Cortex shook his head and looked over his paper of all the candidates from the ad. He stared at Marvel's name and growled, shutting his eyes. "I'm doomed."

"Whaddaya mean you're _DOOMED!?"_ Uka shouted. "Hire that woman already!"

"NO!" Cortex nearly screamed. "I don't like her!" He faced his desk, then muttered quickly, "She scares me."

"What did I just hear?" Uka laughed out loud. "She _scares_ you!?"

"I don't remember the last time someone ever told me off like that..."

Uka grinned. "If you're not hiring her, _I_ am. She _definitely_ needs to be your assistant now!"

"How!? I'm pretty sure she wants me dead, now! Heck, I wouldn't be surprised if she contacted all those other people and now has an army against me!" Cortex exclaimed.

"Only one way to find out. Give her a call," Uka told him.

"Why _me!?_"

"Don't start this again," Uka growled.

Cortex groaned and slammed his head against his desk. "Fine! But if I'm right, I'm blaming you."

Uka rolled his eyes. "Sure, whatever." He headed out of the office.

Cortex pulled out the newspaper and flipped to the ad, catching sight of Marvel's phone number. He sighed and leaned his head against his hand, pulling out his cellphone. He dialed her number.

"_Mm...yes...?"_ A tired voice came from the other end.

Cortex raised an eyebrow in confusion until he looked at his watch, realizing it was past midnight. _Whoops_. "Yes, er...this is Dr. Cortex."

"_Oh."_ Now she sounded wide awake. _"Well, ain't this a surprise...?" _She chuckled.

"Yes, well, I've...actually been thinking about what you said..." Cortex sighed again, shutting his eyes.

"_I had a feeling you would."_

Cortex suppressed a growl at her cocky tone. "...And I was thinking about giving you another chance at being my assistant. What time would you be free for me to...er..._chat_ with you?"

"_Well! This is such a convenience, ain't it? Heh...well, I have no plans tomorrow. How about 5:00 at the old cafe?"_

Cortex frowned. "Why the cafe? Why not my place?"

"_Because I said so." _Cortex frowned. _"Anyway, does it work or not?"_

He gritted his teeth. "Fine. The cafe it is. I'll see you there."

"_Great. I guess I was wrong about you, Dr. Cortex. You certainly surprised me." _Marvel hung up.

Cortex felt a little better knowing that she wasn't actually going to kill him. He hung up as well, feeling slightly satisfied.

"So?" Uka flew inside the room.

"We're meeting at 5 in the cafe tomorrow. I'll interview her then, but...there's no guarantee she'll get the job, just so you know." Cortex narrowed his eyes at him.

"Like I said before, Cortex...if you won't hire her, _I _will." Uka chuckled as he left.

* * *

Just like they arranged, Cortex headed out to the cafe around 5:00 the next day. As he headed inside, he found Marvel sitting at a table waiting for him. He sighed and approached her.

"Ah, the triumphant return. Greetings." Marvel gave a small wave.

Cortex rolled his eyes as he sat across from her. "Yeah yeah...let's just get this over with, alright?"

Marvel frowned. "Alright, grouchy."

"So." Cortex pulled out a piece of paper. "Miss Pseredon—"

"Pfft! Enough with the formal crap. Just call me Marvel," she told him.

Cortex narrowed his eyes. "Fine. So, _Marvel_...what kind of skills do you think you have for a job like this?"

"An assistant? Please—I've got everything. I'm stealthy, able to make my way around dark places, I'll gladly get ahold of any item you may need with ease, not to mention I'm skilled with mixed martial arts and all sorts of fighting techniques with this here trident." She pointed beside herself. "Anything else you'd like to know?"

Cortex wrote this stuff down. "Huh. That seems like enough. How well do you work with others, though? Minions, to be more specific."

"Ah. That won't be a problem! I'm certainly a people person. The more, the merrier!" She smiled.

"Good..." Cortex simply nodded and wrote that down as well.

Marvel frowned again.

"What?" Cortex looked up at her.

"You're not showing much enthusiasm," Marvel said. "Am I not the type of person you're looking for, or what?"

"What?" Cortex repeated. "No—you are! This is a good thing!"

"Just loosen up, why don't you? I don't want you to think you're being held here against your will or something!"

Cortex rolled his eyes and looked back down at his paper, but then Marvel ripped it out of his hands. "Wha—what are you doing!?"

"Alright, enough about me." Marvel tossed it aside. "It's your turn."

"But I'm supposed to be interviewing _you."_ Cortex frowned.

"Well, I need to know some things about my boss, don't I?" Marvel narrowed her eyes. "So, question one: does it kill you to give compliments every one in a while?"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"A simple _'oh, very impressive!' _or even _'very nice'_ would sound kind of good to someone like me. Y'know, just to show that you're actually enthralled by my abilities and not hating my guts," Marvel stated bluntly.

"Okay—_very impressive! Very nice! _There, does that make you feel better?" Cortex grouched.

Marvel just shook her head, and sighed. "We'll need to work on this..." She cleared her throat. "Let's have a practice session right now. Give me a couple random compliments." When seeing Cortex groan, she added, "They don't have to be true. Just try and get the feel of it. Don't be shy!"

"Oh, fine!" Cortex grouched. He cleared his throat, and she smiled, folding her hands together as she waited patiently. "Well. Your head has an...interesting shape."

Marvel blinked. "...Okay."

Cortex tapped his chin. "Um...well, your shirt is red. I like red."

"Yes...go on."

Cortex narrowed his eyes. "Let's see...your hair color looks..._marvelous?" _Marvel chuckled. She tilted her head to the side, and he added, "And you have wonderful earrings!" He looked closer. "And I love how they bring out the sparkle in your eyes, which really reflects your...exuberant personality..." He trailed off when realizing how awkward he sounded. He cleared his throat again. "So, er—is that good enough?"

Marvel nodded. "I'm impressed how well you managed to handle that. See? Giving compliments every once and while won't kill you!"

"I guess not," Cortex muttered, although he still felt extremely awkward saying all those things with a bunch of people around.

"Alright, next question—" Marvel began.

"Hold up—there's _more!?_" Cortex exclaimed.

"Cool your jets; this is the last one. How does it feel to have a new assistant?"

"Well—" Cortex froze. "Wait, what? You actually _want_ to help me?"

"Why not? You look like you need it. Also, you don't seem like that terrible of a guy." Marvel shrugged. "I've dealt with worse people."

Cortex just blinked. "Uh...okay...well...I guess you're hired!" He smiled a little.

"Good. Pleasure to help out." She held out a hand, and they both shook on it. "How soon do you want me to start working?"

"Er...anytime you're ready, I guess." Cortex was still trying to get used to everything.

"Gotcha. I'll pack my bags and head over in the evening." Marvel stood up and grabbed her trident. "I'll be awaiting your orders as soon I am ready, boss." She gave a salute before walking away.

Cortex watched her with a nod. He felt relieved that he didn't have to search for a new assistant anymore, and he assertively headed for home, determined to tell Uka-Uka the news.

* * *

"Excellent!" Uka grinned. "She'll be a great addition."

"I guess so." Cortex shrugged. "We'll find out soon enough."

Uka raised an eyebrow. "I see you still have doubts about her?"

"I don't know. I just—I guess I'm just not used to having someone else besides N. Gin, y'know?" Cortex frowned, looking at the ground in thought. He shook his head. "Ah, forget it. I guess I'll change my mind after I get used to having her around."

"Having who around?" Nina walked into the room.

"That woman he was ranting about. Marvel," Uka told her.

"You're actually hiring her?" Nina stared at her uncle with wide eyes.

"Yes. She has a bunch of helpful skills, and she's willing to give me a shot." Cortex shrugged. Suddenly, there came a knock on the door. "Could you get that? I still have to clear out the guest room." He walked away, and Uka followed him.

Nina nodded and walked over to the door, opening it. In front of her stood Marvel, whose eyes were buried in a piece of paper.

"So, correct me if I'm wrong; were those compliments you said about me actually true?" She looked up and saw Nina. "Oh!" She blushed with embarrassment. "Hello!"

"Are you Marvel?" Nina asked.

"Yes, yes I am. Who are you, may I ask?"

"Nina Cortex..." Nina raised an eyebrow. "Cortex is my uncle."

"So you're his niece? That's so adorable!" She gave her a hug, and Nina just stood there awkwardly. Marvel grabbed her bags once more and headed inside. "So, where's Cortex, anyway?"

"Clearing out the guest room." Nina walked away.

Marvel nodded and waited patiently for him, and Uka-Uka flew up to her. "Ah, hello, Miss Pseredon."

"Hello, 'Great and Mighty Uka-Uka'." Marvel bowed.

Cortex walked into the room, and Uka smirked at him as he flew past him. "I like this woman." Uka chuckled as he flew away.

Cortex rolled his eyes. "You only like her because she's the only one who yells at me besides you_," _he muttered, facing Marvel. "Well, I got your room set up."

"Great." Marvel began to follow him, but then stopped with a frown.

Cortex turned around. "What?"

"Aren't you going to ask if I need help with my bags?"

Cortex snorted. "You obviously dragged them all the way here; I'm sure you can drag them to your room as well."

Marvel simply shook her head. "Wow. We need to work on your people skills."

"Look; you're _my_ assistant, and _I'm_ your boss. Now, follow me," Cortex grumbled.

"Very well." Marvel shrugged, smirking as she followed him.

Cortex stopped in front of the door. "Here it is. Make yourself at home, and we'll get to work tomorrow. If you're hungry, just help yourself to the fridge, and the bathroom is just down the hall." He simply waved a hand and turned around.

"Thank you," Marvel spoke politely, heading inside her room.

"Mm-hm." Cortex walked away.

Marvel shook her head and chuckled, noticing how he solely avoided eye-contact, and she assumed he still felt a bit uneasy after what he said at the cafe. She sat on her bed and set her bags beside her. Looking over the paper where she had written Cortex's earlier compliments about her, she smiled. She folded it up and placed it on the table beside her, figuring she would ask him her question some other time.


	3. Fired

**We now skip ahead to Marvel's first day on the job :D**

* * *

Dr. Neo Cortex was in his lab, fixing one of his machines. Marvel sat on his computer chair, spinning around due to boredom.

"So, when am I actually going to _assist_ you with something?" she droned.

"Hold on—I'm concentrating." Cortex was patching up part of the machine. As he did so, more pieces and parts started falling to the ground. "AGH!"

"Bravo." Marvel started clapping.

"Shut it," Cortex growled, picking up the pieces.

"Hey, I'll mimic your words: _'If you have a problem with my attitude, that's YOUR own fault!'_" Marvel smirked.

"Okay, then how about I fire you?" Cortex narrowed his eyes.

"Okay, then how about you spend another week trying to find a new assistant?" She retaliated.

Cortex didn't object. "Alright, you're hired again. Now, do me a favor and hand me my toolbox, why don't you?" he grumbled.

"Sheesh. You could say _please, _y'know." Marvel rolled her eyes.

"Do you WANT me to fire you!?"

"I dunno. Do you really want to find a new assistant?"

Cortex glared at her. "PLEASE give it to me."

"That's better." Marvel handed it to him.

Cortex took it and opened it, but then his eyes widened. "Where's my screwdriver? Did you _steal_ it!? You're fired!"

"It's on the desk behind you." She pointed at it.

Cortex whirled around. "Oh." He grabbed it. "You're hired." He got to work fixing his machine, and Marvel watched him with a snicker. "What are _you_ giggling about?"

"You're not even paying attention to the fact that I was pointing at a wrench." Marvel laughed.

Cortex stared at the tool he wielded and let out a shout. "AGH! You're fired!"

Marvel merely grabbed his toolbox and pulled out a screwdriver, handing it to him. "Proves how much you pay attention, I'll tell you that."

"Fine. You're hired." Cortex took it and continued to work.

"Whatever you say, boss."

"And stop calling me 'boss'. I have a name." Cortex didn't look up from his work.

"Whatever." Marvel rolled her eyes. "Anything else you need?"

"Yes. For you to stop talking for just two seconds." Cortex narrowed his eyes as he screwed the last piece of his machine back in place. "There! Good as new."

"Yeah! You can hardly notice the giant crack in the back of the entire thing!" Marvel stifled a laugh.

"WHAT?" Cortex scrambled to the back of the machine and, sure enough, she was right. "Why didn't you tell me this before!? You're fired!"

"Because that crack just now formed, which is why I just now informed you," she bluntly answered.

"Oh. In that case, you're hired again. Now, are you good with fixing machines?"

"Eh, I'm not exactly a machinist, but I ain't too shabby." Marvel blinked and turned to face him. "Wait, you're a scientist! You don't know how to fix simple machinery!?"

"Of _course_ I do, you imbecile! I'm just making sure _you_ do! That was one of the questions I was going to ask you during our interview before you rudely ripped the paper from my hand," Cortex growled. "I need to be sure that, just in case anything happens to break when I'm absent, you'll be able to fix it yourself. Can I trust you with that?"

"Sure...sure." Marvel waved a dismissive hand.

"You're lying, aren't you?"

"Sort of," she admitted. "But before you go and fire me again, maybe if you teach me how to repair your technology, you'll be able to trust me more with that stuff."

"Ah." Cortex nodded. "Okay, consider yourself hired."

"Technically you never fired me," Marvel pointed out.

"Whatever! Tomorrow we'll work on all that repair stuff. As of now, it's time for a sandwich break." Cortex stood up straight and headed for the door. As they both headed out of the lab, he faced her. "And by the way, all that 'you're fired' talk was just a test to see how you'd react."

Marvel blinked.

"You passed!" Cortex gave a lone round of applause, and she just stared at him.

"Um...great?" She raised an eyebrow.

"Yes. Very. Now, what kind of sandwich would you like?"

"..."


	4. Insanity

**As of now, this story won't have any real plot—it'll just be a bunch of one-shots concerning Marvel and Cortex.**

* * *

Marvel was beginning to grow concerned for her 'boss'. Cortex rarely came out of his lab for the past week ever since he claimed to come up with _'the most ingenious, dynamic, advantageous concoction the world has ever known!'_

It was shortly after his eccentric announcement that Marvel had realized the doctor had been running on only one hour of sleep for the entire week—maybe even two weeks.

"Dr. Cortex?" She shoved open the door to his lab. Just as she expected, the room was a complete mess, and Cortex was currently in the back of the cluttered area. His head was hung low, his eyes were shut, and he appeared to be twitching. The sight of the frazzled scientist made her take a cautious step back. "Boss?"

"Oh!" Cortex dizzily swung his head upward to meet her gaze. "My dear Marvelous...I was just thinking about you!"

Marvel stared at her almost 'drunken' comrade. "Uka-Uka told me to put you to bed. When was the last time you slept?"

"Oh...days, weeks, months...I lost count..." Cortex giggled like a nut as he stepped forward, almost losing balance. Marvel took his hand and pulled him up.

"Alright, I'm taking you to your room." It was more of a command than a statement, and she led him towards the door.

"Y'know, Marvelous..."

"Marvel," Marvel corrected him.

"Y'know Marvelous..." Cortex repeated with a broad smile, "You've been part of the family for so long... and I feel that I don't thank you enough!"

Marvel opened the door, staring at him. "I've only been working here for two weeks, Boss."

"Let's just cut to the chase," Cortex rambled, hitting the wall just next to the door. Marvel grabbed his shoulder and gently shoved him in the right direction. Cortex spun to meet her face-to-face. "We've shared passing glances before, and I see it in your eyes...the way you look at me."

Marvel stopped dead in her tracks. "Wha—?"

"Shhhhh..." Cortex placed a finger on her forehead. "I know I'm just so handsome and elegant..." His words slurred as he yawned, "...but you're not thinking clearly."

"PFFT! Yeah—_I'm _the one who's not thinking clearly..." Marvel rolled her eyes.

"I have a personality, y'know...and all you're blabbering about is how gosh-darn good-looking I am! Y'know how much that offends me?" His left foot crossed paths with his right and he collided onto the floor.

"You do realize I've never said anything about your looks, right?" It was hard to stifle a laugh at his crumpled body on the floor.

"Wait..." He raised his head and narrowed his eyes, but they still drooped at times. "Are you...you're saying...I'm _not _handsome? I'm _not_ good-looking or elegant?" He gasped loudly as he stood up, wavering around before pointing a horrified finger at her. "There's someone _else_, isn't there? Who is it!? Is it Ripper Roo!? It can't be!"

"Um...Cortex—"

"No! No!" He waved a hand disgustedly as he wobbled over to his room, almost walking right into her in the process. "I've had enough of your lies...you think you can just blatantly insult me like that!? You're fired!" His head hit the door of his room and he collapsed, out like a light.

Marvel did nothing but blink at her boss. As her eyes slowly searched the room to make sure no one else had witnessed the doctor passing out, she pulled out her phone from her pocket, snapping a few pictures.

"Yep. This is _so_ going on Facebook."


	5. Motherly Figure

As Marvel grabbed her morning coffee, Cortex entered the room. He actually cleaned up rather nicely; he made sure his hair had been brushed, and he wore fresh new clothes instead of the same ratty lab coat he had been wearing for two weeks straight.

Marvel still couldn't quite help but snicker at him, remembering how tired and loopy he was before. Oh, how she would _love_ to use that picture against him as blackmail someday...

"Mornin', Boss. Get plenty of rest?"

"Stop calling me—" Cortex cut himself off and shook his head. "Forget it. Yes...good morning."

"You sure look snazzy. Are you going to a party or something?" she asked.

Cortex rolled his eyes. "I'm just heading out to my Iceberg Lab to check up on some things." He was about to walk out the door. Almost hesitantly, he turned to face her. "Listen...while I'm gone, could you just...look after Nina for me? I mean, I usually leave her by herself, but recently...I've been rather hesitant to do so..."

Marvel smiled. "Hey, don't worry. I'm not going anywhere, so I'll make sure she's fine."

Cortex sighed with relief. Normally Uka-Uka could look after Nina, but the mask was nowhere to be seen at the moment, so Cortex assumed he was busy. Not that Cortex didn't trust any of his minions to look over Nina, either, but you can never be too careful. "Thank you. I'll be back in an hour or two." He turned around and left, shutting the door behind him.

Once a couple minutes went by, Marvel started thinking. She hadn't seen much of Nina ever since she first arrived, and when they did see each other, they didn't say much—just an occasional _'hello'_ or _'good morning'_. Marvel smiled. She wanted to get to know Nina better, so she decided to do something nice for her.

Marvel's first stop was the kitchen. Even when she was younger, Marvel loved to cook and bake whatever she wanted. She started looking through the cupboards, pulling out various ingredients.

_Hmm...maybe some sugar cookies! _Her mouth watered just at the thought. Snapping her fingers, she dashed over to her room and started digging through her bags. Since she loved to cook, she always kept several of her own cooking supplies right with her. After pulling out a large mixing spoon, a bag of flour and sugar (hey, she likes to be prepared XD), and even her own apron, Marvel scrambled back into the kitchen and started preparing her lovely cookies.

30 minutes passed, and the sugar cookies were all done. Marvel hummed happily as she opened the oven, screeching when she realized she had forgotten her over mitts. In an instant, she grabbed a pair of gloves sitting on the counter and shoved them on, quickly pulling out the pan of cookies.

"Woo..." She sighed with relief as she set the pan onto the counter. "Wow. That just proves how long I've gone without cooking." She chuckled.

Pretty soon, Marvel heard footsteps come down the stairs. She looked up from the pan and saw Nina, her hair a little messy and still wearing her pajamas.

"Good morning, Nina." Marvel smiled.

Nina nodded, still pretty tired, but as soon as she caught sight of the cookies, her eyes shot open wide. "Are those cookies?"

"Yep. Made 'em myself," Marvel chuckled. "They just got done, so feel free to have one."

"Wow." Nina took one. "I haven't had cookies in forever. Thanks!"

"I take it your uncle's not the best cook?" Marvel stifled a laugh.

Nina took a bite of the cookie and shook her head. "Not at all. Heck, he can't even work a microwave properly."

Marvel laughed out loud. "Well, you don't have to worry about that anymore. I used to cook and bake all the time back when I was living on my own."

Nina raised a brow. "How did you get all the ingredients for these cookies? I didn't think Uncle Cortex had any..."

"Well, I come prepared." Marvel smiled. "I've got all kinds of stuff in my bags."

"Can I have another?" Nina picked up another cookie.

"Be my guest. I made these for you, after all."

"Me?" Nina looked surprised.

Marvel shrugged. "I just felt like doing something nice for you. I don't want you to think of me as just some crazy woman who works for your uncle." She laughed. "By all means, that may be true, but still." She placed a hand on Nina's shoulder. "I can see that you sort of lack a...female role model. Er, not that I'm the _best_ role model, so to say, but...you can just think of me as some crazy, long-lost cousin or whatever!" She smiled.

Nina stared at her with a raised brow.

"Alright, bad analogy. The point is...I'm obviously here to stay. As long as I'm staying, I wanna make sure that we don't get off the wrong foot or anything, y'know?" Marvel said, hoping Nina understood what she meant.

Nina laughed. "No worries. As soon as I heard about you back-talking my uncle, I _knew_ you were going to be awesome."

"Aww...thanks!" Marvel smiled and gave her a hug. Once she took a cookie for herself, she looked at the clock. "Well...it looks like your uncle won't be back until an hour or so...is there anything you would like to do before he gets back?"

Nina shrugged. "I dunno. I was just up in my room trying to fix one of my laser guns, so I might get back to doing that," she said.

"Cool! Mind if I join you?" Marvel asked. "Cortex wants me to get the hang of fixing machinery, and maybe starting with something small like a laser gun will help."

"I don't see why not." Nina led her up to her room.

* * *

About an hour later, Cortex entered his lair only to find the room completely empty. He blinked, expecting Marvel to be waiting for him, but shook it off. She was probably in her room or something.

"Marvel!?"

"_Quick! He's here!" _a voice whispered, presumably from behind the couch.

Cortex frowned. "Hello?" He took one step forward, but instantly regretted it as two figures leapt up, one possessing some sort of laser gun. The last thing Cortex saw was a giant pink blob hitting him square in the face before he felt himself smack onto the wall. His feet never touched the ground, and he discovered he was stuck.

"HA!" Nina high-fived Marvel, who was wielding the gun. "My bubblegum gun actually works! Great job fixing it, Marvel."

Marvel beamed. "Well, I learned from the best."

"This is the start of a beautiful friendship!" Nina grinned as they both happily left the room, leaving poor Cortex struggling to get free from the wall.

"DON'T JUST _LEAVE_ ME HERE!"


	6. Two Ladies and a Mad Scientist

"Cortex?"

"And then you just put these two wires together, and _BAM!_ You got yourself a toaster!"

"Cortex...?"

"There's still one thing that gets to me, though...you put bread in this thing, and then _toast_ pops out. But what happens to the bread?"

"CORTEX!"

"WHAT!?" Cortex shouted in frustration, glaring at Marvel.

"Some lady just passed out in your yard." Marvel was at the window, gaping outside in shock.

"Whaddaya mean some lady—?" Cortex shoved her aside and glanced outdoors, flinching when he realized Marvel was correct. After standing still for a few seconds, he darted out of the room. Marvel quickly followed her boss, wondering what was going on.

Cortex threw open the front door and found none other than Natalia Tasia, an old friend of his from the Academy of Evil, lying in the middle of his yard. He froze on the spot. Not too long before meeting Marvel, Natalia had been out to get him, even attempting to kill him at one point over him not liking her 'more' than a friend. Luckily, they eventually had their issues sorted out, and they were good friends once again.

"Natalia!" Cortex dove down by Natalia's side to see if she was alright.

Marvel curiously blinked at the scene. She frowned, slightly. "You know her?"

"Yeah..." Cortex dragged Natalia into the lair and managed to set her on the couch. "She—" He cut himself off. It seemed like it was just yesterday when Natalia had tried to kill him...to kidnap Nina... He quickly shook his head. He knew that Natalia no longer hated him or vowed to get revenge, but it still didn't hurt to be cautious.

"Is she your girlfriend?"

"_Girlfriend—?"_ Cortex nearly choked on his own spit. He took a moment to compose himself. "She is _not_ my girlfriend. She's just a really old friend of mine."

"Oh. Okay." Marvel casually shrugged and left it at that.

Cortex grew awfully confused at her sudden nonchalance. "What, are you completely baffled that a woman actually having deep, emotional _feelings_ for me is even possible?" He asked her, a hint of offense in his tone.

"Not at all!" Marvel stated innocently, although Cortex caught a slight smirk from the corner of her mouth.

"Yeah, you keep laughing. Little do you know, I was _quite_ the looker back in my day...ladies couldn't keep their eyes off me!" At this point, he was obviously wisecracking, despite his straight face.

Marvel couldn't contain her laughter and started snickering uncontrollably.

Cortex still didn't crack a smile and rolled his eyes, trying to maintain his seriousness. "It's true," he mumbled.

"Y'know...you strike me as someone who would've been a nerdy, but somewhat likeable kid," Marvel chuckled.

"Nerdy—? Pfft! You listen here, _Marvelous_, a 'nerd' is just another term for an individual with the gift of high intellect! I've got a better word for myself—a _child_ _prodigy._"

"Alright, _Mr. Prodigy_. If you're so intellectual, why do you need an assistant?" Marvel crossed her arms.

Cortex blinked. "Assistant?" He shook his head. Why did he suddenly forget that Marvel was his assistant? "Oh—I didn't mean—I meant that—" He hoped she wouldn't quit on him because of his earlier bragging.

Marvel just laughed. "Look at it this way—I'm living proof that even the most intelligent people need help at some points in time."

Cortex felt relieved. He chuckled a bit until he heard something move behind him.

"Cortex...?"

Cortex whirled around to find Natalia staring at him like he was nuts. "Natalia! Are you...alright?"

"I'm fine..." Natalia wore a suspicious look. "Are _you_ okay?"

"Of course I am! Why would I be?"

Natalia shook her head, too weary to go into details. "Forget it. I better get home."

"Yep. You go on ahead." Cortex simply nodded as she carefully stood up, maintaining her balance. "Will you be alright?"

"I'll be fine." Natalia muttered. "I don't want to be interrupting anything."

"Interrupting—?" Cortex looked back and forth between her and Marvel. "Nothing's going—there's no—what?"

"Cortex, I know flirting when I see it." Natalia rolled her eyes as she headed towards the door.

"SHE'S JUST MY ASSISTANT!" Cortex screeched. The only response he received was a closed door.

"Well. That was awkward." Marvel cleared her throat.

Cortex glared at her before standing straight, fixing his lab coat. "Ahem. If you don't mind, we should continue our little experiment in the laboratory." He turned around and sauntered out of the room as sophisticated as possible.

Marvel chuckled and shook her head, but followed him nonetheless.


	7. Understandable

"Finally!"

Marvel threw aside her wrench, cringing at the sudden crash that occurred when it had collided into the wall, leaving a small dent.

"Shoot. Ah well—Cortex won't care once he finds out what I just made!"

Marvel excitedly snatched her invention—a metal collar of some sort—and dashed out of the lab in search of a certain minion. Finding Nina's room, she opened the door and stuck her head in.

"Hey Nina—you haven't seen Ripper Roo anywhere, have you?"

Nina and Tiny Tiger were in the middle of a game of checkers. "Last I saw, he was still in 'time-out'," Nina replied as she moved her piece.

"Time-out?" Marvel stifled a laugh. "What did he do _this_ time?"

"Smashed a couple of beakers, shredded several files...raided the fridge _again_...the list goes on." Nina rolled her eyes.

"Tiny try to stop him, but Tiny get hit in head..." Tiny rubbed his sore head.

Marvel chuckled. "Okay, well, if you see your uncle anywhere, tell him I got a solution to this whole Ripper Roo problem." She shut the door, leaving the two in curiosity.

Marvel sauntered over to a large, reinforced, steel door and carefully unlocked every single lock that was on it. Opening the door rather hastily to find herself in a padded room, she found Ripper Roo, who was lying on his stomach. His eyes were wide and his tongue hung out of his mouth, curling slightly.

"Hey there! You remember me, right?" Marvel smiled, and Ripper Roo blinked at her. "Anyway, I got something for ya!" She held out the collar for him to see.

Ripper Roo hopped up, eying the collar suspiciously. He giggled in caution, gradually inching his way over to take a closer look.

"See? How about you try it on—" Marvel went to put it around his neck, but he jumped back in a panic, cackling madly. "Hey—it won't hurt! I promise."

Ripper Roo began bouncing around the room, intentionally avoiding her as she chased him left and right, trying to grab him. He blew raspberries and laughed at her.

"Get back here!" Marvel shouted, but he refused to obey. He whirled around, only to hop on her head and continue his giggling fit. Marvel scowled and took out her trident from behind her back. "HEY!"

Ripper Roo stopped bouncing and blinked at her again.

"Yeah, ya see this? Now be a nice kangaroo, and I won't have to use this!" Marvel growled.

Ripper Roo's eyes widened a bit, and his ears lowered. He remained in place.

"Good kangaroo..." Marvel lowered her trident and approached him. As soon as she was just inches away, Ripper Roo's giant tongue lurched forward and licked her entire face. Marvel stood there blankly, shaking away his slobber. "You're quite the oddball, y'know that?" She carefully took the collar. "Now, please hold still."

For once, Ripper Roo actually obeyed, and she noticed how he was staring at her trident. Once the collar fitted on, Marvel took a step back to admire her work.

"Perfect! That wasn't so bad, was it?" She beamed.

"What in the world is going on in here—" The door swung open, and Cortex stuck his head in. "Wha—Marvel! What are you doing in here with that buffoon!?"

"Introducing my latest invention!" Marvel gestured to the collar around Ripper Roo's neck.

"Eh...a collar?" Cortex frowned and stepped forward. "Why?"

"You'll see!" Marvel looked at Ripper Roo expectantly. Ripper Roo only cocked his head to the side in confusion.

"_See what?"_

"Who said that?" Cortex looked around.

"TADA! Ripper Roo can now _speak!" _Marvel exclaimed, throwing her arms in the air.

"_What? Wait...that was me?" _Ripper Roo perked up. _"I CAN SPEAK! HAHAHAHAHA!" _His voice sounded high-pitched and maniacal.

"That's just...creepy...but impressive!" Cortex smiled.

Ripper Roo squealed with glee as he hopped around. _"Hallelujah! Finally! I've had so many things that I've been wanting to say for years! Like...STOP FEEDING ME PLANTS YOU FAT-HEADED BARBARIAN!"_

Cortex's smile vanished within an instant, and Marvel cracked up.

"_Why do you think I keep raiding the fridge, ya old coot!? I'm always starving!" _Ripper Roo screamed.

Cortex frowned. "Huh. That must explain why you ate my desk chair last week..." he mumbled.

"_Now can ya PLEASE lemme outta here? I'm BOOORED!" _Ripper Roo shook his head around wildly.

"Fine—fine. We'll get you something to eat. Now, does this mean you'll promise not to cause any more mischief?" Cortex growled.

"_No promises, doc. But I'll lay off ya more if you just promise me one thing!" _Ripper Roo cackled.

"And that is...?"

"_Don't let that crazy lady stab me, please!" _Ripper Roo hopped behind Cortex, gaping at Marvel's trident.

Cortex smirked and shook his head. "Sheesh. Thank you, Marvel. At least now we can satisfy him to _some_ extent."

"No problem." Marvel chuckled, winking at Ripper Roo.


	8. Extreme Makeover

"Are you sure about this...?"

"Of course! It's for his own good. After all, this place needs a woman's touch."

Nina watched closely as Marvel balanced one foot on her trident, painting the ceiling a bright shade of red. "Don't you think a ladder would be more efficient?" she asked with a raised brow.

Marvel scoffed. "Oh please. I'm an independent woman! I don't need no ladder!" She resumed painting, then glanced down before hopping to the ground. "Got any more paintbrushes?"

"What's wrong with the one you have?" Nina pointed at the brush Marvel was currently wielding.

"I just thought it'd be nice to have a little more help," Marvel chuckled. "Even with a ladder, I won't be able to get the whole ceiling done before Cortex gets here."

Nina thought for a moment. "I believe I have the solution." She smirked.

* * *

"_NO NO NO!" _Ripper Roo frantically dove under the kitchen table.

"Come on! Don't you like to mess with Cortex?" Nina frowned.

"_You know I looove to, but by helping that loony woman? NO!" _Ripper Roo poked his head out and cackled.

"She's not gonna stab you." Nina rolled her eyes.

"_And how do you know that?"_

"Because I won't let her," Nina spoke honestly. She paused for a moment. "That is, unless you refuse to help her."

Ripper Roo attempted to snarl, only it sounded more like a snort due to his consistent laughter. _"Fine..."_

* * *

"Alright Roo, all ya have to do is paint the ceiling red. Sound good?" Marvel handed the kangaroo a paint brush, which he promptly took in his mouth and dipped in paint.

"_Yes ma'am_." He obediently nodded, not wanting to get on her bad side. Ripper Roo proceeded to leap up and down, waving the brush like mad as large blotches of red paint covered the ceiling.

Marvel was holding an umbrella to avoid the paint splattering everywhere, and she chuckled. "Good, good."

Once Ripper Roo was finished, he nearly slipped on a big puddle of paint. Luckily, everything was covered in newspapers, so nothing important was drenched. _"Sorry, it's a bit messy."_

"Nah, it's perfect! Definitely faster than I could ever be. Now, ya mind helping me paint the walls?" Marvel got out a bucket of gold paint.

Ripper Roo cocked his head to the side. _"Red and gold?"_

"Yup!" Marvel beamed. "Those are my colors. Besides, it's a lot more lively than this boring, dusty gray color, isn't it?" Ripper Roo blinked, but slowly nodded. "Exactly! Cortex will thank me."

Ripper Roo shrugged and retrieved another paintbrush, helping Marvel paint the walls gold.

Once they were finished, Marvel wiped paint off her brow. "Woo! All finished, and I have you to thank for, Roo!"

Ripper Roo happily bounced. _"So when's Cortex comin' back?"_

Marvel looked at her watch. "Heh...looks like we're just in time. He should be getting back in about 15 minutes, so let's get all these newspapers taken care of while the paint dries."

After Nina had returned, the three took care of every paint-stained newspaper as quick as they could. By the time they heard the front door shut, signaling that Cortex was back, they scrambled into the living room, casually watching TV as if nothing out of the ordinary was going on.

"I'm back," Cortex muttered as he approached them.

"Hey." Nina nodded.

"Sup." Marvel did the same.

Ripper Roo was having a giggling fit from under the footrest, which was his favorite place to lie down in for some odd reason. His head poked out and snickered at the sight of Cortex, and it wasn't long before the kangaroo busted into hysterical laughter.

Cortex did nothing but stare at his creation, but simply shook it off. After all, he should've been used to Ripper Roo's insanity by now. "Okay. Well, I'll be up in my lab if you need me."

"Alright." Marvel and Nina simply nodded again, doing their best to keep a straight face. Ripper Roo, however, continued his laughing fit.

"What do you think he'll do?" Nina whispered to Marvel.

Marvel opened her mouth to respond, only to be interrupted by an ear-piercing, womanly scream.

"_**MAAAAARRVVEEEELLLL!"**_

Marvel grinned widely, rubbing her hands together in satisfaction.

"Aren't you...worried at all?" Nina asked, hoping she wouldn't get fired.

Marvel just chuckled and waved it off. "I've known Cortex long enough to know that this'll blow over; trust me. That guy's gotta learn that the world doesn't revolve around him." She clasped her hands together. "Now, who wants sugar cookies?"

"Sure!"

"_ME ME ME!"_


	9. Yearning for Help

Once Marvel and Nina decided to go out and have a bit of girl time, Cortex immediately took this to his advantage and called for Uka Uka to come into his lab for a 'secret' meeting.

"I can't take this anymore!" Cortex cried, pulling at his hair.

Uka stared around the lab and blinked. "Did you remodel everything in here?"

"NO! I _didn't!_" Cortex screamed. "MARVEL did!"

"Ah." Uka nodded. "Not bad. Definitely looks better than before."

Cortex was close to throwing his chair at the mask. "You gotta HELP ME, Uka-Uka! I'm growing gray hairs because of this woman!"

"You've _always_ had gray hairs." Uka rolled his eyes.

Cortex's eyes widened in horror. "What?" He snatched a mirror out of a drawer and eyed himself intently, only to find his normal black hair. "You liar." Uka laughed at him and turned around to leave. "Please! You have to help me!"

"Why should _I_ help YOU?" Uka growled. "You never help _me!"_

"Yes I do!" Cortex frowned.

"Oh yeah? Have you ever beaten that infernal bandicoot?"

"Well, no..."

"Have you _ever_ succeeded in one of your plans?"

"No, but—"

"Have you ever successfully impressed me to any extent?"

"I...er...gave you a sandwich...?" Cortex mumbled hopefully.

Uka shook his head and rolled his eyes. "Cortex, I'd probably replace you with Marvel if it weren't for how much I enjoy seeing her harass you." He grinned as he left the room.

"Oh, come on!" Cortex hollered, throwing his arms in the air. "Am I the _only_ one who can't stand this woman sometimes!?"

"Eh, the feeling's neutral for me," a voice spoke beside him.

Cortex whirled around and saw Pinstripe, who was rummaging through one of the drawers. "How long have you been in here?"

Pinstripe shrugged. "Not too long. I came in while you were getting yelled at by Uka-Uka." He pulled out a file and started flipping through it.

"What are you looking for?" Cortex raised a brow.

"Oh, nothing." Pinstripe closed the drawer and innocently placed his arms behind his back. "But yeah, Marvel's okay, I guess. Haven't spoken with her much."

"That woman is just...agh!" Cortex griped, slamming his hand on his desk. "Do you have any idea how stressed I've been since she started working here!?"

"If you ask me, I just think you've been stressed ever since Uka-Uka came back," Pinstripe rolled his eyes.

"NO I HAVEN'T!" Cortex screamed, bashing him square in the head with his chair. The potoroo was instantly knocked unconscious, hitting the ground with a loud _thud_. Cortex gaped at his fallen bodyguard, then glanced down at the chair in his grip. Instantly, the mad scientist dropped the chair and scrambled out of the lab.


	10. My Hero

It took nearly a week for Cortex to get over Marvel 'remodeling' his lab. It was around that time where he finally started to get used to having her around, as well as having to deal with her..._eccentric_ demeanor.

What befuddled the mad scientist the most, however, was that everyone immediately accepted Marvel into the 'family'. No one else seemed as doubtful or weirded out as Cortex had used to be, which was rather surprising. Well, except for Pinstripe, anyway, but Cortex was currently avoiding him at the moment ever since he had that breakdown and whacked the potoroo with a chair.

Even though Cortex rarely showed it, he was glad that Nina got along with Marvel, seeing how his niece had been the only female in the lair pretty much her whole life. Even though Cortex wasn't entirely sure if Marvel was considered a 'proper' role model, it was comforting to know that she was kind towards Nina and would never let anything bad happen to her.

"What are _you_ so happy about?" A gruff voice asked beside Cortex.

Cortex flinched and looked up from his blueprints, frowning at Uka Uka. "Nothing."

Uka raised a brow. "I see you haven't been complaining about Marvel lately."

"She's okay." Cortex shrugged, returning to his work. "I guess I overreacted. She's been _somewhat _of a good assistant, after all."

Uka smirked, a slight chuckle escaping him.

Cortex narrowed his eyes. "What's so funny?" He grouched.

"Nothing." Uka mimicked Cortex's earlier answer and still wore a suspicious-looking grin as he flew out the door. Cortex knew something was on the mask's mind, but decided not to bother with figuring it out; he was already too busy conspiring of ways to dispose of Crash Bandicoot.

* * *

_**BANG!**_

Marvel kicked the door open, her hands occupied with a large box about half her height that she proceeded to drag up the front steps and into the lair. She pulled the box halfway across the room with all her might, but it took what seemed like forever. Squeaking in pain as she took a breather, she darted to the other side and tried pushing the box forward instead.

"HEY...I COULD...USE...A LITTLE HELP!" she hollered, falling on her butt after attempting to shove it while she was backwards. In a fit of rage, Marvel snatched her trident and started bashing the side of the box with it, screeching and cursing unintelligibly.

Little did she know, someone who had entered the room in curiosity was startled by her sudden tantrum, gaping at her with wide eyes.

Marvel finally calmed down enough to throw away her trident and punch the box a couple times, but eventually grew tired and shut her eyes, taking in a deep breath. As soon as she opened her eyes, they were locked onto the unexpected visitor, which just so happened to be Tiny Tiger.

"Oh!" She blinked. "Uhh...how long have you been standing there...?"

Tiny simply blinked back, staring at the box for a moment. He silently trotted over and set both hands on each side of the box, lifting it with ease. "Tiny help?"

Marvel chuckled, fixing her bandanna before brushing her hands on her pants. "You have no idea how much I need it, honey. You came at just the right moment." She walked ahead of him. "Could you set the darn thing into the lab for me?"

Tiny smiled and nodded. He always liked Marvel since she was nicer than Cortex. He started to follow her over to the lab.

"So, how are you, Tiny? We never talk," Marvel told him.

"Tiny good," Tiny answered.

"That's great." Marvel smiled, and soon they approached the lab. She opened the door for Tiny, and he set the box inside next to Cortex's desk. "Alright, grouchy—here's your fusion reactor. It took me nearly 3 hours to steal the dang thing and drag it all the way over here, so it _better_ make you happy."

Cortex looked up and simply nodded. "Good job, Marvel. It's about time."

Marvel glared at him, but shook it off and faced Tiny. "Thanks for helpin' me out, buddy. You're my hero!" She stood on her tip-toes and gave Tiny a kiss on the cheek.

Tiny turned a dark shade of red and smiled bashfully. "Tiny happy to help."

Marvel looked over at Cortex and smirked when she saw him roll his eyes. "It's not too late for me to be called _your_ hero, y'know. You're welcome."

"That'll be all, Marvel." Cortex turned his chair away from her, and she cracked up.


	11. Halloween with Cortex

**A bit early from Halloween, I know, but I just couldn't resist. XD**

* * *

"_YOU'VE NEVER GONE TRICK-OR-TREATING BEFORE!?"_

Nina flinched at Marvel's shout, not seeing what the big deal was. "I just always thought it was for kids."

"Lady, you know nothing." Marvel shook her head in utter disgrace. "You know nothing. You get free _candy!_ Who wouldn't want _free candy!?"_

"It's just candy..."

"_Just_ _candy!?" _Marvel repeated. "Nina...I worry about you." She placed a hand on Nina's shoulder. "Tonight, I am going to teach you the joys of trick-or-treating and _free candy_."

"But...aren't you a little too old to go trick-or-treating?" Nina raised a brow.

"You're _never_ too old to go trick-or-treating!" Marvel frowned. "I've gone trick-or-treating for over 30 years, and I ain't planning on stopping anytime soon!"

"If you say so." Nina shrugged. "So, what're you dressing up as?"

"Cleopatra!" Marvel pulled out the said dress and crown from her closet, as well as a bunch of golden jewelry. "I bought this costume about 3 years ago, and I noticed it really matches my style. Don't you think?"

"Definitely." Nina nodded. "I'm dressing up as a witch."

"Wait, if you aren't going trick-or-treating, what're you dressing up for?" Marvel asked.

"Oh, it's just for fun, really. Also, Cortex always throws some sort of bobbing for apples contest. It should be a lot more fun now that you're here!" Nina smiled.

"Sounds like fun!" Marvel looked excited.

* * *

After the two girls got into their costumes, they headed downstairs. They saw that Tiny Tiger and Ripper Roo were already standing in the living room, making small talk.

"Tiny wonders what you are..." Tiny examined the blue kangaroo from head to toe. Ripper Roo was wearing a large purple top hat and holding a cane.

"_Willy Wonka!" _Ripper Roo cackled, his tongue flailing around. Tiny nodded, but still looked completely lost.

"Where's your costume, Tiny?" Marvel asked.

"Tiny's costume getting fixed," Tiny answered, and Cortex, dressed as a ninja, walked out of the other room holding a giant red cloth.

"Here's your cape, Tiny."

Tiny took the cape and tied it around his neck, now looking like some sort of superhero. "Super-Tiny!"

Marvel took one look at Cortex and snickered. "Nice costume, Cortex."

Cortex rolled his eyes and turned to face Marvel. He stared at her for a moment, but quickly shook it off. "Thank you. Yours isn't bad either."

Uka-Uka flew into the room with two buckets floating by his side. He set them down in front of everyone, and both of them were filled with water and a couple of apples.

"Hey, Uka! You joining our contest?" Marvel asked.

Uka smirked. "I've discovered that watching is _far _more entertaining." He looked at Cortex and chuckled.

"What're you looking at _me_ for?" Cortex hissed.

"Don't worry, Cortex; I'll help you out!" Marvel patted him on the back.

"Gee, that's comforting..." Cortex muttered under his breath.

"_Can I play!?" _Ripper Roo squealed, bouncing up and down.

"For the last time, Ripper Roo, _no_, you are _not_ playing. Last time you did, you ate all the apples!" Cortex told him sternly.

Ripper Roo stuck out his massive tongue at him as he pouted on the couch.

"Okay, Tiny, looks like we're a team, then!" Nina told Tiny. "Do you want to go first?"

"Tiny go first!" Tiny nodded happily.

"I'll go first," Marvel told Cortex.

"Oh no no no..." Cortex shook his head, "I don't even know if you're good at this or not. I've done this for years—"

"And you've lost each time," Uka butted in.

"Shut it! I've done this for years, so I've had more experience. I'm going first."

Marvel laughed out loud. "Boy, you don't know me. I was the champion at the bobbing for apples contest in my town for 4 straight years."

"Do you have a trophy to prove it?" Cortex crossed his arms.

"What, is poor wittle Cortex afraid his female teammate is going to show him up or something?" Marvel teased.

"What!? I—no!" Cortex turned red in frustration.

"Cortex, just get on with this!" Uka grouched.

"Er, fine..." Cortex grumbled. "You can go first..."

"Don't worry, Tiny, I'll go easy on you," Marvel told Tiny sweetly. Nina caught a devious glint in her eyes, though, and knew she was lying.

"Alright...on your mark, get set, GO!" Uka shouted.

Marvel threw her head into the bucket, grabbing an apple in the first 5 seconds. Tiny threw his head down as well, but hit his head at the bottom the bucket from going too fast and he lay limp for a while.

"Tiny? Tiny!" Nina pulled her friend out of the bucket and saw that he had two apples stuck to both his front teeth.

Tiny spit the apples out. "Tiny okay." He rubbed his head before going back under to get more apples.

"Come on...hurry up..." Cortex muttered as Marvel struggled to get more apples. They only had about 4, whereas Nina and Tiny managed to get 7 in the past minute. The worst part was that every apple Tiny got was completely on accident. Apples kept getting stuck to his sharp teeth, which gave him the advantage. "Hurry up, Marvel!"

Marvel's head whipped up from the water with an apple in her mouth. She spit it out and hollered, "Well, _sorry_ that I'm only human and can only get one apple at a time!"

"TIME'S UP!" Uka shouted, startling everyone. He saw that Nina and Tiny had 9 apples, whereas Cortex and Marvel had only gotten 5. "Nina and Tiny win!"

"Yeah!" Nina high-fived Tiny. "Great job, Tiny!"

Cortex glared at Marvel, who raised her hands in surrender. "Look, don't blame me. Back in my town, we didn't compete against mutant tigers," she told him.

Cortex rolled his eyes. "Forget it—I'm next, so I'll redeem us." He placed both hands on the edge of the bucket. "I'm ready!"

"Ready." Nina got in front of the bucket.

"On your mark, get set, go." Uka returned to his spot on the couch, obviously knowing who was going to win.

Cortex and Nina both stuck their heads in the bucket, going at a pretty even pace. Marvel periodically glanced at the two, beginning to get nervous since she was very competitive.

Cortex spit out an apple, and they had 3 in all. Marvel looked behind herself and saw that Nina had gotten 4. "Ack! Pick up the pace!" Marvel shoved Cortex into the bucket, and his arms started flailing around.

"Eh, Marvel?" Uka-Uka tried all he could not to crack up.

Marvel kept glancing at Nina, who kept getting more and more apples with ease. "Quick—I think Nina's winning!" Without even looking at Cortex, who had raised his head and gotten an apple, she forced his head back down, causing him to lose balance and fall completely into the bucket.

"Time's up. Nina wins," Uka stated with no enthusiasm whatsoever.

"Gosh dang it! What did we do wrong?" Marvel questioned in disappointment, and Cortex stood up from the water, choking and coughing violently.

"You...you nearly..._drowned_ me...woman!" the mad scientist screamed. "I could...I could've won...this thing!"

"Sure, sure..." Marvel crossed her arms. "I'm pretty sure my grandma could go _way_ faster than you."

Cortex's hand balled into fists, but let that comment slide and wordlessly picked up the bucket, carrying it back into the other room. Tiny did the same with the other bucket.

"Good game!" Nina shook Marvel's hand.

"You weren't so bad yourself." Marvel laughed a little. "Sometimes I just gotta learn not to let my competitiveness get the best of me. Heh heh." They both turned around and watched as Ripper Roo happily waddled around, eating all the apples that were left on the ground.

"So," Nina faced Marvel, "when are we doing this trick-or-treating thing?"

"We can do it right now if ya want! Let's go!" Marvel handed her a bag from seemingly out of nowhere and they both ran out the front door.

"_Wait for me!" _Ripper Roo bounced after them, but Cortex managed to dash after him and pull him back.

"The _last_ thing I need right now is some mentally deranged kangaroo loose on Halloween night. No way!"

"_Aww..." _Ripper Roo whined as Cortex dragged him back to the white-padded room. After Cortex was finished with that, he went into the bathroom to take a towel and dry off his soaked costume.

"I swear, these bobbing for apple contests keep getting better every year," Uka chuckled.

"Oh, shut up," Cortex growled. "If it wasn't for Marvel, I would've won."

"If it wasn't for Marvel, I'd still be in a rotten mood," Uka remarked. "That move definitely cheered me up, I'll tell you that."

"Oh, put a sock in it already." Cortex threw his towel at Uka and stormed past him. "I hate Halloween..."

* * *

**I drew a scene from this and put it on DeviantArt: ****f****av . me / d9cok2f**** (without spaces)**


	12. Trick-Or-Treating

"Let's start with...hm...that house!" Marvel bounced up and down like a child as she sprinted towards the first house she and Nina saw once they were in the city.

Nina dashed after her, stifling a laugh. They both headed up the steps of the house, and Marvel turned to face her.

"Would you like to do the honors?" Marvel pointed at the door.

"Sure. Why not?" Nina rang the doorbell.

It wasn't too long before a woman opened the door with a bowl full of candy bars.

"Trick or treat!" Both girls exclaimed, holding their bags out.

The woman glanced at Marvel, raising a brow. "Miss, aren't you a little _too_ old to—"

"Lady..." Marvel reached for her trident and subtly slipped it out from behind her, "Not one word."

The woman paled. "...Never mind." She forced a smile. "Take as much candy as you'd like!"

Marvel grinned and took a handful, as did Nina. As they both walked away, Marvel already ripped the wrapper off one candy bar and took a bite. "You gotta love free candy!" she declared with her mouth full.

Nina peered inside her bag. "Hm, I guess this ain't so bad after all!"

"I told ya! When I was a kid, I absolutely _loved_ candy, so figuring out the basics of Halloween was the best time of my childhood," Marvel told her.

"I never would've guessed..." Nina chuckled, knowing how hyperactive the woman was most of the time.

"I say we go once around the block, then sneak another round and hope no one notices," Marvel snickered. "I always used to do that as a kid to double my candy! Heh heh..."

Nina smirked, deciding to go along with her antics. She followed Marvel down the block as they visited house after house, gathering more and more candy. By the time they reached the end of the block, however, Marvel was far from satisfied.

"Let's split up and go back down the block, but to different houses; that way we won't look suspicious!" Marvel grinned, eager to get more candy.

"Yes, ma'am." Nina chuckled as she took off, and Marvel was about to head to another house when she felt a tap on her shoulder.

"'Scuse me, miss, but that's an awesome costume! Where'd you get it?" asked a female bandicoot. Her blonde hair was up in two buns on the sides, and she was wearing a white, long-sleeved dress.

"Oh, this old thing? Heh...I got the dress from some retail shop about an hour south from here...then I just put all this jewelry together that I found in my jewelry box." Marvel shrugged. "Your costume is pretty cute, too."

"Thanks!" The bandicoot beamed. "I'm Coco. Are you new around here?"

"Eh, fairly new. Just arrived about a month or 2 ago. I'm Marvel—short of Marvelous." Marvel shook Coco's hand.

"Awesome! It's always nice to meet a new face around here." Coco smiled. "You've probably already heard of my brother, Crash...he's very popular around here."

Marvel began to nod, but stopped and blinked for a moment. "Wait, Crash...?" She repeated the name several times in her head, wondering where she had heard the name before.

* * *

"_Wait...so...so let me get this straight..." Marvel wheezed, trying to catch her breath from laughing so hard, "You're telling me that your mortal enemy is one, measly rodent!?" She doubled over and cracked up, tears falling from her eyes._

"_STOP LAUGHING!" Cortex barked. "Now that you're my assistant, we can finally concoct some sort of scheme that will rid us of Crash Bandicoot once and for all!"_

* * *

"Oh, him," Marvel sighed.

"What?" Coco blinked.

"Yeah, sorry kid," Marvel set down her bag of candy pulled out her trident, "but this means I'm gonna have to kill ya. Orders from above."

"Orders from—what?" Coco backed up.

Marvel swung her trident forward, but Coco dove forward, narrowly avoiding it. The bandicoot kicked Marvel's legs, causing her lose her balance and fall on her butt. "Why you little—" Marvel somersaulted forward and leapt back up, swirling her trident in one hand to block Coco's punches. Marvel finally bashed her in the side, causing her to fall over in pain.

"Who the heck _ARE _you!?" Coco exclaimed, glaring up at the woman.

"Marvelous Pseredon—contemporary assistant to Dr. Neo Cortex. Pleasure to meet you, now that we both know whose side we're really on," Marvel stated sweetly. "Now, would you be so kind as to tell me exactly where your brother is? I'd just _love_ to meet him—"

A sudden blow to her noggin knocked her out cold, her limp body dropping onto the hard concrete. Behind her was none other than Crash Bandicoot, who was holding a giant stick. He was wearing a long gray robe as well as a tall, pointed hat.

"Quick—let's get out of here before that crazy woman wakes up!" Coco grabbed her brother's wrist as they both dashed away.

* * *

"Marvel? Marvel!"

Marvel was soon jiggled awake, and she bolted upright. "BEWARE MY CUNNING ONSLAUGHT OF CARNAGE!" She screeched as she hurled her trident forward, but it soared aimlessly into a bush. Marvel snapped out of it and rubbed her head, which felt sore. "Ow..."

"What the heck happened!?" Nina asked her with wide eyes.

"Well, I—" Marvel paused in an attempt to remember what exactly happened before she fell unconscious. Her fists clenched and she gritted her teeth. "Those bandicoots! I was AMBUSHED!"

"Bandicoots? Where did they go!?" Nina whipped her head around, searching for any sign of Crash or Coco.

"They escaped..." Marvel grumbled, dusting off her dress. "But let's not worry about them right now; I haven't gotten a chance at more candy!" Her scowl was quickly replaced with a grin.

"Yeah, about that..." Nina started with a frown.

"What?"

"Well, you've been unconscious for a while, and houses around the block are starting to shut off their lights. I think we'd better head back to the lair," Nina informed her.

"What...?" Marvel repeated, her body stiffening. "No...no more candy?" Her eyes narrowed, and she swung her fists in the air. "THOSE DANG BANDICOOTS! They wasted my time!"

"Hey, it's okay..." Nina raised her hands in surrender. "At least you got _some_ candy, right?"

Marvel, on the other hand, only stared at her candy bag in remorse, a dangerous glint in her eyes. "Those wretched little vermin are going to _pay."_

* * *

**Never get between Marvel and her candy—that's the lesson here, folks! XD**


End file.
